This list is really incomplete at the moment. I'll add to it if I'm bored some time or someone gives me more quotes.
"Okay, so we'll work out the inverses of the integers mod 7. I'll help you a bit - the inverse of 1 is 1."
"I'll help you ... it's one of these 386 numbers."
"If you write 6 as -1, no harm will come to you."
"Whatever it is, it squares to give you 7." [On i.]
"And now for something completely different, we'll have a look at Euclid's algorithm with the numbers 389 and 169."
"Our alien electrician says, 'I want a generator', and that's odd because he's the electrician."
"As Ben will tell you, size is not all that is important."
"Suppose we went to Italy and took a dictionary which had English and Italian words written randomly next to each other."
"It's too hard to work out powers. I'm getting friends to work them out for me and I'm quickly running out of friends."
"David can count to 3, Merryn can count to 4, but Holly, being a high-school maths teacher, can count to 11."
GW: "It looks as if it was done by a 15-year-old work experience student."
DN: "I am a 15-year-old work experience student."
(Daniel and Garry,
re. the lettering outside the Hancock Library)
"You give this to a small child to do on a rainy day, and they run away and don't come back."
"I can't shrink my watch to a point without cutting off my arm, and that would be unfortunate."
"Don't put washing powder in the drier."
On the uses of Topology: "Enzymes or proteins or some other biological sloppy thing."
About his breasts (as Lycra Croft): "You think these are fake?"
"Even untangling a kite string is fun the first time you do it."
"Right, we'll all work as a team and do things my way."
"It's a bit of a radical idea I know, but it just might work."
The following people helped compile quotes for this list: